If a milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, then go ahead and consider Kelis' front lawn empty. Despite lyrics that offer to teach us how to make a milkshake, the singer shouldn't charge us for it because we don't know if she can even make one.
On Monday, the singer admitted in an interview with The Guardian, "I don't think I've ever made a milkshake."
If Kelis isn't lactose intolerant, there's really no excuse here. She and her moo-juice music duped an entire generation of middle school dancers into thinking her song had real lyrical meaning. So, let's focus on the positives instead.
If Kelis didn't lie to us in her buttermilk-based ballad, Ben Stiller wouldn't have been able to do this handsy dance in "Dodgeball" on account of too much half-and-half.
We'd never have been able to watch children dance to suggestive lyrics in "Mean Girls."
And we definitely wouldn't have been able to see Peter Griffin show us some skin for some skim.
Now, we know the song isn't really about milkshakes, and we really don't care that Kelis doesn't mess with them. Her music has messed with pop culture enough. Because nearly 13 years later, we're still celebrating something the matriarch of milkshakes has never even made.