(Image: Arthur's Clip Art)

BY: JJ BAILEY

A rumble in the Jungle. Well, Strongsville Ohio might not exactly be the jungle, but it was the stage for an unusual altercation.

“A kid, just emerged out of the bushes, out of nowhere, in a banana costume. He started sprinting- as quickly as he possibly could- at our gorilla. The kid, in mid air, like a spartan from 300... except he was a banana.”

That’s right. Tired of taking punishment over the years, bananas struck back. The furious fruit tackled the mascot to the ground, and fled on foot. It led to one of the more... interesting 911 calls in history.

Caller:“Hi, my name is Brandon. Some kid in a banana costume just tackled my mascot...”
Dispatch: “Is your mascot ok?”
Caller: “The kid just came up and like just speared him”
Dispatch: “Ok... we’ll send somebody down to check around south of your store for a kid dressed in a banana costume.”

It’s doubtful that all available units raced to the scene, but the story grabbed attention from news outlets around country. On MSNBC, it caused Rachel Maddow to delve deeper into the tumultuous history between gorillas and their favorite snack.  

“In this video, gorilla and banana- both singular- seem to be getting along just fine, at least initially. Same with the gorilla and multiple bananas marching along here, more or less. But things always do seem to end up getting calamitous. Things start to get heated here when a gorilla on a skateboard chases a banana on a bicycle through a shopping mall parking lot. And in this cafeteria altercation, it’s safe so say the gorilla wins.”

The gorilla recovered quickly, going right back to work after the attack. Authorities are still searching for the offending fruit, who, after his attack..... split.